Kirk Cobain Called...

Ok, it wasn't that bad, but really I can only think of 2 sports weeks that were more miserable than what I (and all fellow Skins, Terps, and Liverpool fans) just went though.

1. September 18-19, 2004. This one is easy. Banes hooked me up with tickets to #21 Terps v. #7 Sheepfuckers in Morgantown. I was all kinds of amped up for this game, so much so that I promised myself that I wasn't going to drink on a Friday night and drive up to WVU at the asscrack to make game time. Needless to say, particularly for those of you who knew me Junior year (or know me now... let's be honest) I got hammered drunk that night before and woke up an hour and a half before game time. Drove up averaging roughly 90 mph to make it there just after the 1st quarter.

Getting to my seat and realizing that no familiar faces were anywhere near my seat, and the natives did not appreciate my presence, "I think you're in the wrong section boy...," I knew I was in for a long day. After 5 turnovers, somehow we were still in the game. 16-16. We were headed to Overtime. It was short lived, as we settled for a field goal, and they drove. Future NFLers Chris Henry and Dominque Foxworth battled it out in the endzone. Henry came out on top. My what a difference 4 years makes. Ballgame. 19-16. Miserable 3 hour drive home.

The next day, the Skins faced off against the G-men. Two not too good teams as I recall. The Giants owner, Wellington Mara had just died. After 7 turnovers, the Skins fell like 36-0.

12 turnovers. Losses to major rivals. I was on suicide watch.

2. I don't want to even look up the date on this one, but Maryland lost to Ohio and American back to back last year. You could hear the thud of the program hitting rock bottom in Shanghai.

So, here we were Saturday morning, a little hungover from Halloween. Liverpool v. Tottenham Hotspur. Liverpool alone on the top of the table. Spurs at the very bottom. 90 minutes later, after a dominating performance and two shots off the post... Spurs 2, 'Pool 1.

Ok, no big deal, Huge Skins game on Monday Night. I can look past this. My boys, despite a strong start, were utterly dominated on both sides of the ball (Byron Leftwich... really? My mom moves better in the pocket). On the upside, I sit in the top row of the Club Level and turning around to check the tv screens, I noted Shawne Merriman sitting 3 feet behind me. Dude has a head the size of thanksgiving turkey. Fact. But I choked in the acknowledgement of his presence.

Anyways. Thursday. Terps. The resurgent, I can't believe this team is nationally ranked, lets go to c-stone for rails, then santa fe for $2 22s and watch us fuck up the Hokies, Terps. Despite my better judgement, I let myself get fired up for this game. Went to Bailey's in Ballston, got all drunk and obnoxious in front of the Arlington chapter of the Hokie alumni club. Very miserable loss. How is the only play we have to get a future first round NFL pick the ball a WR screen? That's like settling for a big mac when you have a gift certificate to the Palm. Its acknowledging that we don't have the ability to do anything past the line of scrimmage. Thanks Fridge.

Being a Terps football fan is like driving a car that's just crossed the 150K mile mark. Every time it turns on you feel like magic could happen. Somehow it starts and you can drive it for like 5 days. But when you really need it, at 2 AM trying to drive for a late night booty call... nothin'. It's not even that you never know whether or not it will start. It's just that you know that sooner or later, it's going to let you down, and probably in front of a lot of people that you just told to go fuck themselves.

On the upside. Skins are on a bye, just signed D'Angelo Hall, and are still in great shape for at least the wild card, and are in play for the division. Terps are still tied for the division lead. Liverpool are still tied for first. But much like the state of the economy, after a miserable week like this you start to think, "hmm... is this the bottom, or is it going to get much worse?"

Fortunately, unlike Mr.Cobain, it doesn't rain 300 days every year where I live. Don't be too concerned about any poorly placed shotgun barrels over here.

Get me some wins boys! This shit is terrible!