Sorry Kids... Beer Makes Me Excited.

"Hey Briere! You're a douchebag!!!"

Out of context, this doesn't seem like much of an out of the ordinary quote, particularly since Mr. Briere looks prettay... prettay soft. When I tell you that person being quoted is me after a 3 hour beer tasting, which was lovely, it becomes standard operating procedure.

Here's the problem. This occurred while I was at Citizen's Bank Field for a Phillies game the day after Game 1 of the Caps Flyers playoff series, and the person I was directing my verbal onslaught toward was a 10-year-old child with Flyers rub-on tattoos on his cheeks and a child's Danny Briere jersey on. Amazingly, I was not made to pay for my comment (unless you count the food vendor running out of pizza and hot dogs later in the game. "Ahh fuck it. Just give me a beer.").

Out of nowhere, the Flyers have found themselves up there with Duke as the only team who's small child fans are fair game for Grande Juan's drunken antics.

I know, I'm as surprised as you are.

Historically, Caps fans consider the Penguins as their primary rival. With Crosby and Malkin, maybe the NHLs best duo, you'd think there would still be something there. Although maybe there is, it clearly has been replaced by a strong hatred for the "Broad Street Bullies" (I prefer the "Voorhees Vagenes"). To be honest, I'm glad. Caps hatred of the Pens was based on an absolutely awful playoff record (1-7) in the 80's and 90's. I'd like to keep that in the past. Thanks.

Granted, a 0-1 record in the playoffs against the Flyers isn't a great start, but with some of the quotes finding their way to the bulletin board leading up to tonight's game, it's clear we're in for some heated battles for the foreseeable future.

In reality, although it is heated, who knows if the animosity has any staying power. Without being in the same division, it's tough to really build the hype.

But let me tell you about another team who gets a lot of the "they're not our rival" trash. Obviously I'm referring to Maryland Basketball. Without a true mutually acknowledged basketball rivalry, my Terps turn the inferiority complex of not being on Tobacco Road into being giant killers.

The Caps, being in the division of have nots, are in a similar situation. Except, the Caps get to keep their talent more than 4 years. With the Terps best talent, we were treated to a Final Four and a National Title in back to back years. Gotta feel like if the Caps can harness some of that "nobody respects us, everybody loves the Atlantic Division" attitude with a team that just posted a franchise best midseason record they could go far.

So...

Dear Flyers Fans,

Do us all a favor, and keep your children in neutral colors. I think we'd all prefer to avoid the consequences.

Thanks.

Grande

PS. How do you like this sideboob?

Douchebags.