"Mom... you should probably hold onto Dad's Credit Cards."

In a lot of ways, trying to build a professional sports team is like going to a casino. You always go in with high expectations assuming you're gonna leave with full pockets. Unfortunately, more often then not, you're leaving with your head down and the same story of good intentions and bad luck. The problem is that not only are the odds against you, but the casino owners have figured out a way to make it fun to lose your shirt.

The last time I was in AC, I lost a ton of money, and while it was happening I actually had this thought. "Ok, I am getting slaughtered at this Blackjack table. I've lost all the money I made last night, and this dealer is on a tear. But the waitress is coming by just frequently enough with the double jack and cokes, and my boys are all at the table and I'm having a great time. Maybe something great will happen." It also didn't help that I was getting drunk, and was particularly on point with the jokes that evening. I knew I was losing a ton of money, but somehow I kept throwing my money away because I was having a good time. Needless to say, I left the table with an empty wallet.

I get the feeling that many owners and GMs out there have similar sentiments. "Yea, my moves aren't working, but it's really fun to negotiate trades with my buddies. I'll just keep doing what I've been doing and maybe something great will happen." As in the casino, hoping for the best doesn't generally work out.

What's missing is a strategy. At the casino, maybe youre thinking, "hey, let's go to the blackjack table, stick to a strategy that maximizes my odds and potential payouts, play until either I'm down $200, or I'm up $200. If I'm up, Morton's and the Crazy Horse. Boom."

I can't pretend to know anything about running a professional sports franchise, but in DC we have a two examples of how to keep your team in the papers, but for different reasons. One flounders in mediocrity but people give a shit becaused they spend a lot of money in the off season, the other is one of the best team's in their league. Obviously, I am referring to the Redskins and the Capitals, respectively.

Since Dan Snyder purchased the Skins, we've gone from just awful to pretty average. Somewhat of an upgrade, but for the last four seasons the story this time of year has been who needs to lose so that we can be playing in January. We did make the playoffs twice, but could only squander a 1-2 record, and in our one win we broke a record for fewest yards in a playoff win. Real fun to watch.

I obviously don't have to go down the list of terrible moves, but it goes without saying that for the most part the plan seems to be "we're going to focus all of our efforts on trades and big free agent signings, fuck the draft, and we're gonna do it all with a revolving door in the head coach's office." Good plan guys. Not only are they somehow intent to depend on getting players that are either past or nearly past their prime, but they're spending more money doing it. By avoiding the draft, they are only getting players who have already achieved, who quite literally did something great in the past, and in a different system. And since they already did big things, they demand more cash.

What happens, clearly, is that the team is trying to succeed with aging players, and there's very little continuity because there's a new face on the sidelines every other year. Awesome. And, when it's obvious the moves aren't working, is there a change of strategy? No. Just an explanation. I'm paraphrasing here, but I'm pretty sure it was along the lines of "Dan just wants to win more than anybody else." Oh.

Geniuses in the Redskins PR Department. Tell me if you can imagine this conversation happening.

Husband: I have some awful news. I just lost $10,000 at the blackjack table.
Wife: Are you fucking kidding me? We were going to use that for a down payment on a beach house...
Husband: I know. But here's the thing... I really wanted to win! More than anybody!!
Wife: Oh, well in that case, here's another $10,000. Go get um tiger!

No. Clearly not. And the worst part is, after a lame 8-8 season (6-2, 2-6), I really don't see where we're getting much better next year.

Fortunately, we've got the Caps. For a while there, things weren't lookin so hot. Before last year's epic run, they were stuck in the Southeast Division cellar. But here's the difference. While they were doing terrible, they were steadily building. They drafted our entire first line (when healthy), our #1 defenseman, and two goalies (Notably Varlamov, 2-0 in NHL starts).

Surprise, we won the Southeast Division last year after an unreal string of wins, and are cruising again this season. We have the league's reigning mvp who is locked up for a THIRTEEN YEAR DEAL, and are just flat out trashing the place, and the best part is that our team leaders are 4 young kids, Ovechkin is in his 4th year! Until a few months ago, you could find Nicklas Backstrom outside of beer stores looking for somebody to buy him booze. We're gonna be great for a long time.

So let's be honest. The Skins are going to keep making it somewhat interesting for the foreseeable future, but the bandwagon is gonna be in the garage for awhile. In the meantine, get yourself down to the Greene Turtle pound some beers, head into the Verizon Center, pound some more beers, and enjoy yourself. It's the only place you're gonna find some winners in this town.